If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all. That has been said to me more times than I can remember.
So when I started to pursue this surgery, I thought of everything that could go wrong, but not one thing that could go right.
Now that I am two weeks post surgery, I am still not hit with the reality of it all yet. It doesn’t feel like I have had surgery. Well, it doesn’t feel like it until I bend too much or look down at my 6 holes in my abdomen. I haven’t gotten nauseus, sick, or experienced any vomiting or diarrhea. I almost feel as though it’s been too good to be true. Until last night.
I have a habit now of lifting up my shirt and looking at my 6 incision sites. Last night while out, yes, out in public, I lifted my shirt to look at the healing sites. I have 1 incision at the very top of my abdomen, right under where your bra would sit, but right in the middle, under your boobs. Then I have one on my left side, and one on my right. The other 3, which I think are the main ones are front and center and then to the left and right of the center one are the remaining 2.
The one in the center, I think is the bigget and has the biggest scab on it. I am all torso and of course, being fat, it sticks out. So I am constantly leaning on it, or hitting it against something, or something is rubbing up against it (table, chair, clothing). So last night my friend pointed out to me that the middle one looked a bit different. I looked down and noticed that yes there were some pale’ish colors attached to the scab. Might have been green or yellow at some point, but I have seen those colors in other scabs on other parts of my body. But then I got to thinking.. what if something was FINALLY going wrong for me? What if I had an infection, what if my insides were leaking and the only thing holding them in was this hole in the middle of my stomach?
The rest of the night I was a paranoid fucking mess. I posted pics of it on my online gastric bypass support group. I even messaged it to a dear friend who is a nurse. I called my surgeon’s office, even though it was 7pm. I left them a message. Everyone in the online gastric bypass support group had their own opinion of the scabbed incision. “It looks fine,” “call your doc, it’s infected,” “Mine looked like that and I was fine,” “Put some vitamin E on it,” and so forth and so on. I was even told that someone’s daughter had MRSA. Lovely. It’s really tough trying to get thoughts and stuff on something that others have been through, but you are currently going through. You want to yell at them, thank them, and then you just want to delete the picture of your scabby incision.
I survived the night and I am seeing my surgeon tomorrow at 8am. I don’t think its anything serious, but I do want it looked at, as the long holiday weekend is upon us. Plus, I would much rather be safe than sorry. I am not running a fever, I feel fine (just a little lightheaded, as I need to get more fluids in), and the site itself is not warm. Someone told me to go to the ER. No. This wasn’t a reason for that. I knew enough to wait for the doc, but I was still worried, as I was getting all of this different feedback left and right. That’s what you get when you share on Facebook, am I right?
The nurse, along with a few others in the gastric bypass group did mention that the incision site could be irritated based on its location. It’s front and center. I sit at a table or desk most of the time (especially when I am blogging or tweezing) so I tend to lean forward, as I have bad posture.
So while things have been smooth sailing for the last 2 weeks, leave it to me, to now have something to worry about. But again, I am not all that worried. Just me, being paranoid.
I have been doing so well that it scares me. But I think I said on the way home from my first post op visit that maybe it was meant for me to have this surgery. I was meant to be fat (thank you genetics & the love of food [which I won’t deny]), need to have the surgery, and have the opportunity to start a new life. I am such a pain in the ass believer that things happen for a reason. I am not saying I got fat for a reason, but maybe this is exactly what was needed.